broken wings
by pookieortega
Summary: What if in mockingjay katniss really was pregnant? But she's broken without peeta and needs him with her. Now she has to fulfil her duties as the mockingjay,while pregnant and broken. And the worst part,peeta doesn't even know. Rating may change.
1. broken wings

Set during mockingjay,what if it was different,katniss really loved peeta and really is pregnant. Rating may change. I own nothing! Big thanks to Susan Collins for creating an amazing trilogy

Katniss pov

It's the 5th time this week that I've disrupted the hospital by walking up screaming. The capitol has peeta,the one person who I can finally admit to loving,my piece of happiness,and they took that away. I rock myself back and forth crying until I feel an arm go around me.

It's prim. She wipes away the tears from my cheeks and pulls me into her and I cry into her chest. "It's okay katniss, Shhhh it's just a nightmare." Prim is always there to comfort me now since she works in the hospital. My mom does too,but she's always too busy to even think of me. Prim rocks me back and forth until I calm down then asks me if I'm okay.

"I don't think I'll be okay until peeta is back...It's so hard without him," I tell her. She nods and says,"I know,but they'll get him soon,I'm sure of it. He'll be back before you know it."

"Thanks little duck,"I say and kiss her forehead. She smiles at me and then says,"I have to go,but I'll come back as soon as I can. I love you."

"I love you too little duck."

I attempt to go back to sleep,but sleep is almost impossible these days. I look down at the bracelet around my wrist and twirl it. It says 'mentally unstable' and I laugh because that's just the beginning of everything.

It should say 'Victor' because that's really what it is. All the victors have this problem because of what we had to go through. We all have ptsd,and to top it off I'm pregnant,but nobody knows. The hospital was so caught up in my injuries and mental health that they totally skipped over it. They all thought that was a lie,even peeta thought he was just being helpful,but in truth I really am.

I'm planning on telling prim,but not until I have to. I sit there twirling the bracelet until prim comes back,this time she has my mom and haymitch. "Morning sweetheart,"haymitch says. My mom smiles sadly and says,"the hospital thinks you are well enough to live in a compartment,but they want you to be with supervison. Prim and I are constantly working,so they recommended haymitch,just until you are a little better,then you can come to our compartment."

"Okay,"I say quietly. Prim helps unhook me from the machines as my mom fills out some papers. They hand me folded up grey clothes and leave so I can change. As I put on the shirt, I notice a small hard bump,and I'm afraid it might be too big and they'll notice. Luckily the shirt is loose. The door opens but this time it's only prim.

"I made sure to get you a bigger shirt,"she whispers.

"How-"

"I was the one who changed you when you got here, they wouldn't let anyone else do it because if you were to wake up,you would freak out,"she says,"I noticed the bump,but don't worry I haven't told anyone. Not even mom. And when nobody was looking,I checked on it,and it's okay,katniss."

"Thank you,"I say hugging her.

The door opens and my mom and haymitch walk back in. I let go of prim and then walk with haymitch over to his compartment. He is only a few rooms away from prim and my mom. When I get in,the things that I got from district 12 are in there.

"There's a room right through that door. That's where you can sleep. Prim put your things in here for you. I'll just be over here," he says and walks to the couch. "Thank you,haymitch,"I say and walk into the room.

I head over to the shower and step in. The warm water cascades over my tense skin. I look down at the bump again and that's when the fear sets in. How can I handle this when I'm falling apart without peeta? What if he never comes back and I am left to take care of this kid alone? I don't think I can do that.

I wrap a towel around myself and walk into my room. I change into a grey tank top and grey sweats. Everything is grey here and it makes me uneasy. I poke my head out the door and say,"good night haymitch."

"Night sweetheart,"he grumbles. He's having a hard time with the whole no alcohol thing. I climb into the bed and curl up in the blankets. I wonder what they're doing to him right now. I hope he's okay. I hope they aren't hurting him,but I know in truth the opposite of that is probably happening. All these thoughts wander my brain and soon I'm crying into the pillow.

I soon drift off to sleep into the void blackness of my nightmares...

"Katniss! Katniss!"Peeta screams. It's pitch black,but his screams echo through this place. Then I hear snow' s laughter and a baby's cry.

"Please don't kill her! Please! Kill me instead,but just don't kill her!"Peeta pleads. I run to where his voice is coming from and then it changes. I'm in snow's mansion. The smell of roses and blood make me sick. That's when I come across a room. But not just any room. It's a room filled with roses covered in blood. When I look at where the blood is coming from,its sickening! The blood drips down from peeta's body,and in his arms is our baby.

"Peeta!" I cry into his chest. Then I cup my baby's face. It's cold and lifeless. I hear the laughter and I know I have to kill him. I wipe the tears from my eyes as I run down the hall. I open door after door but I come upon the same scene. Peeta and my baby. Eventually the house ends and I'm left in a black pit once again.

I shoot up screaming and crying. I must have been thrashing around because the duvet was thrown on the floor,my pillows everywhere. I look down at the tight shirt that rode up. The small bump very visible. I rum my hand over it and cry.

"At least you're okay."

The door swings in and haymitch runs in. "Are you o-"He stands there in shock,because I didn't have enough time to cover my stomach. He opens his mouth,then closes it,then opens it again.

"What the hell!"is all he can manage.

"Haymitch I-"

"No! How could you two be so irresponsible! You think this is fucking okay? You are in a war, how could you do that to that poor thing. You two just couldn't keep it in your pants,huh? I swear when that boy gets back-"

I let him rant until he's done. Then his features soften and he says,"come here,sweetheart,"calmly. I get up and he wraps his arms around me and I cry into his shoulder. "I thought he was just trying to save you." He says.

"He doesn't know,"I admit.

We sit on the bed and he asks,"so how the hell did this even happen?"

"It was a little bit after the victory tour. I didn't find out until the day before the quarter quell. I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to have another reason to keep me alive. He needed to get out of that arena,not me."I say.

"Haymitch,You have to get him back!"I cry.

"I'll see what I can do,"he says. I nod and he hugs me again. "Who else knows?"

"Only prim."

"You can't hide this forever katniss,"he says.

"I know,"I sigh.

"I'll see what I can do tomorrow. Get some sleep,sweetheart,"he says getting up and leaving. I try to go back to sleep but the nightmare still wracks my brain,so I know I won't get much sleep tonight.

A/N tell me what you think?!


	2. sickening days

Yniss pov

Nearly a month has past by and they do't even have a plansayget peeta. Haymitch said that each time he tried to get coin to make a plan on that,she would wave him off with some excuse. It's getting really hard to hide my bump and I think my mom suspects something. I've realized something now,I'm not going through this alone. I refuse to. They will get peeta back no matter what,somehow I will get them to him back.

I look in the mirror and look at the small bump forming. I can imagine the life that's living in there. The little piece of peeta that I have left,and it gives me hope. Putting on the shirt that is becoming tight around that area,I take off out the door of my compartment. They moved me back into the one that my mother and sister share,so I am alone right now.

I make my way to the cafeteria where I am sure to find haymitch,it's breakfast after all. My moods have been off the hook,so I'm not to gentle when I sit down. "Damn what has you in a mood!"He says.

"Well,hmm,I don't know? Maybe the hormones that are raging inside of me? Or the fact that peeta hasn't been saved yet!"I say annoyed. Then I raise my hands to my face and cover my eyes and let out a big sigh and cry."

"Sweetheart... Sweetheart,don't get all emotional with me. I don't do well with hormones and emotions. That's not my type of thing."

"I'm sorry haymitch,I'm wreck right now," I say.

He gives me a sad look and says,"you'll be okay."

"I'm not worried about me, all I care about is peeta."

"I think you should worry about something else too,"he says pointing to my stomach.

"Yeah...I'm going to have to tell my mom soon,"I say with a sigh.

"Listen katniss,coin is going to ask you to be the mockingjay but I'm not sure what she'll do of she finds out you're pregnant. So wait until after to say anything,or wait until they see for themselves."

"Okay,I will."

His communicuff beeps and he says,"damn it! I'll be back. Try to not hurt yourself." He gets up abruptly and leaves the room. Deciding that I can't eat,considering that I would just throw it up right after,I get up and leave.

As I walk down the corridors, I am stopped by a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey catnip."

"Hey Gale,"I say surprised. I haven't seen him much lately because he is high up in command because he saved district 12. Nearly all,except peeta's family. "I see you're out of the hospital."

"I've been out for a month now,Gale," I say irritated.

"Whoa,whoa,easy there. Listen, I'm sorry that I haven't seen you much. I've been busy with this rebellion. But we can talk now. Prim said you were having a hard time,come here,katniss."He says holding out his arms. I accept his hug.

"Catnip,I want you to know that I promise that we will end this. No more snow."

"Okay."

"And I love you."

"Okay."

He sighs and looks down. "I didn't expect you to say it back. I just wanted you to know that."

I look down too and pick at my nails. "I'm sorry Gale,I'm not,I'm not feeling very well." I say,and in all truth I really do feel like I want to throw up. "Yeah,uh,are you okay? You don't look very good."

"No,I can never be okay again,but also no I really don't feel good." I slump against the wall and take deep breaths.

"Katniss,should I get your mom? Or do you want me to bring you to the hospital?"

"Just take me to my room,please. But could you tell my mom?"

"Of course," he says and picks me up. Soon we are at my door and he lays me down on the bed. He takes a seat and says,"I can't wait for all of this to be over."

"Yeah,me t-" I'm cut off by his communifuff beeping too.

"I have to go,I'm needed in command. But I'll see you when I can."

I just nod and he leaves.

About 2 hours later my mom walks in. "Katniss,are you okay?"

I don't reply.

"Katniss,"she says sitting at the end of the bed. "What is it?"She asks. I sigh and pull back the covers and lift up my shirt. "I'm pregnant,"I simply say.

"Katniss..."She says.

"I know,I know,I made a huge mistake,and how could I be so dumb,yada yada yada...Haymitch did you the favour of yelling at me already."

"Katniss...I'm not going to yell at you because I know this is hard for you. But I am disappointed in you and peeta."

"I wish he was here."

She slowly walks forward and wraps me in a hug. "I know sweetie,"she says. I cry into her arms as she attempts to comfort me. For once I allow her to be a mother. But my nausea takes the best of me and I run to the bathroom to puke.

As I sit on the cool tile floor,I tell her,"you can't tell anyone yet."

"I won't."

I nod and she helps me up and into bed. "But you are going to have to tell them soon. I will try to check you the way I did at district 12,but it's not full proof."

"Don't worry,prim already checked it. It's okay,she said."

"Prim knows?"

"Yes,and so does haymitch,but that's all."

"Peeta doesn't know?"

"No."

"But he said so on-"

"He was just protecting us,he didn't know."

"Okay."

Right as I'm about to ask her what I should do to protect it,Gale walks in. Luckily I was able to pull down my shirt in time and hide slightly behind the toilet before he saw. "How are you feeling?"He asks.

"Not to good."

"Can I get you anything?"He asks.

"A blanket,"I say,hoping that a blanket will cover my bump from him. He quickly gets it and I wrap it around myself. I curl up in the bed and he sits by my side. My mom leaves and at first Gale is quiet.

"What's wrong katniss? Did they do something to you?"He asks.

"No,no it's just food poisoning,"I lie.

"Katniss,you are a terrible lier." Damn he saw right through me.

"You're not gonna like it,"I warn him.

"Katniss,nothing can push me away from you,"He says.

"You might change your mind..."I say quietly.

"God dammit katniss! Just tell me!"he yells.

"Gale,I'm pregnant."

His face turns white and his mouth is open,his eyebrows set in a frown. Finally he surmounted his shock and becomes beyond angry. He throws his first into the wall and then brings his hands up to his face.

"What the fuck!"he yells. "I swear I'm going to kill that fucking bastard!"

"Gale!"I yell angrily.

"It wasn't his fault,if anything it was mine."

"Katniss,how could you let him do that to you!"

"Because I love him Gale!"tears are falling from my eyes and I can't even control it.

"You don't mean that. Tell me you don't mean that," he says softly,defeated.

"I do Gale,I'm sorry but I do."

He looks angry again and says,"that _thing_ should be an abortion."

My heart breaks at that,but there are no tears,but instead fire. Fire and rage.

"Get out,"I say quietly.

"Catnip,"he says looking wounded.

"GET OUT!" I yell and throw a pillow at him. He looks unfazed by the pillow but slowly gets up and walks away. When the door closes,I hear another bang from the other side as he punches it.

I don't move,I don't cry,and I don't feel sorry. I feel nothing right now. And I know I won't be able to feel anything until I have peeta by my side. That's something that not even prim can soothe.

I look down at the small bump and rub it saying,"I will never let you go."

That's when Gale's words come to mind and I get angry again. How dare he speak of my baby like that! Gale and I are honest with each other,but that took it too far,and I know that the next time I see him,he won't be too happy with what I have to say.

That's when my mind drifts back to peeta. He should have been the first person I told,but I was afraid it would give him another reason to save me. I wish he knew. He should be here. He deserves so much more,and I will give him exactly that.


	3. mockingjay conditions

Rating might change soon

Katniss pov

I march right to command where I see coin and Plutarch talking. "I'll be your mockingjays."I say firmly. The room bursts out in cheers where I see people slapping each other on the back and shaking hands. That's when I continue.

"But,I have a few conditions."

Instantly they are all quite. A sullen expression on their faces. Coin just looks angry. "Which are?" She asks. "First we get to keep our cat." That simple request causes arguments right away. Some comment on how it would take to much food and some complain about the unimportance of it.

"Fine,but it will find its own food and if it's out after curfew it will be shot on sight."Coin says.

"Fine. Next Gale and I will be allowed to hunt."

"Gale steps in saying,"we won't go far and you can have all the meat for the kitchen."

"Fine,you will be given a 10 mile radius and will it will be an hour from training. But if you are not back or go past the limit you will be punished."

"Understood."

"I will be hands on,if I choose to be and won't be told no."

"Why would you be told no. We need as much soldiers as possible." I don't comment.

"All the victors that were captured will be pardoned."

"No,"she says.

"Yes!"

"No,they are a part of snows p-"

"They will be forgiven or you can find yourself a new mockingjay!"

"Fine."

"And last, I kill snow."

"When the time comes,I'll flip you for it."

"Agreed."

After that I say,"but you have to announce this in front of all of district 13/12."

"Fine."She says through clenched teeth. Haymitch puts a hand to my shoulder and says,"something else to state,sweetheart?"

"One last thing you need to know. I'm pregnant."

At first they are all shocked. Many argue about me wanting to be hands on now and most just have comments. Coin says nothing. I walk out without another word. After,as I walk through the halls,I am stopped by prim.

"What happened?"She asks.

"Come on,"I say bringing her to our room.

"I told them I would be the mockingjay. But I have some conditions. They will save and pardon the victors captured. They will let me fight and we can keep the cat and Gale and I can hunt."

"Do they know?"

"Now they do."

* * *

An hour later we are moved to a different compartment with a window for buttercup. I meet up with Gale by the elevator and even though he is still a little mad at me he comes like I asked.

"Gale,I-"

"Katniss,listen. I'm sorry about what happened. I shouldn't have said that to you,I was just mad."

"It's okay,I just wanted to make sure you weren't going to do anything stupid..."

"Katniss-"

"No Gale,I know you and when you get mad,you run only on anger."

"Katniss,they're having me go on the mission to save the captured victors. I leave in a few days."

"When did they tell you?"I ask.

"After you left."

"I Gale, please be safe...and please save them."

"I will."

"And try not to lose anyone off,katniss."He says before leaving. I head over to the cafeteria where I am greeted by prim,Rory,posy,and Vick. Their mom makes her way with some napkins to clean up what posy spilt.

"Oh,hello katniss."She say sweetly.

"Hi hazelle."I say.

Slowly the news of my pregnancy is getting out,but hazelle obviously didn't hear because when she sees my stomach,that is now starting to get too big for the shirt I'm wearing,she gasps.

"Katniss,well,um..congratulations. if you ever need help I will be happy to give you advice or help."

"Thank you,hazelle."

Posy looks up and pokes it saying,"what's in there?"

I giggle and say,"there's a baby in there."

"A baby? Did you eat it?"

"No it grew there."

"Is a baby gonna grow in my tummy?"

"You have to be older,posy. It's a grown up thing."her mom says.

"Oh...is Gale gonna grow a baby in his tummy?"

That causes prim,Rory,and Vick to bust up laughing and posy looks confused at them. I laugh at the though of a pregnant Gale along with them. "No posy,"I say still laughing. "You have to be a girl,and Gale isn't awesome enough."

She laughs at that and says,"but I'm awesome!"

"Yes you are."

I take a seat next to prim and she smiles at me. "Hey little duck."

"Hi katniss. How are you feeling?"

"Still a little sick but better."

I look down at the mush we are eating today and after eating half of it,I realize I can't stomach it. Prim takes it happily and I thank her. After eating,instead of going to my next class,I head to the supply closet.

I think about today's events. Peeta is being rescued and son he'll be with me. Soon he'll find out about his baby. Soon I'll kill snow,and soon we can be home. With that I drift off.

I am weaken up by two hand shaking me. "Katniss wake up,wake up."

"Huh?"I say shooting up.

I look up to see two grey eyes looking at me. Gale stands there and says,"I heard you screaming and found you asleep. Are you okay? What are you doing in here?"

"I don't like going to my classes. So I sneak off to here. But since I'm always tired I fell asleep."

"Nightmares,huh?"He says.

"Yeah a mixture between that and pregnancy."

"What are they about?"He asks.

"The games,peeta,the baby,and snow."

"Okay,"he says and looks at his hands.

"You love him,huh?"

"Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"Not like that."

"But do you love me at all,in any way?"

"Yes,as a brother. As family."

He nods and mumbles a I have to go.

I sit there and hope that he doesn't hate me. I can barely handle not having peeta. I don't think I can handle not having my best friend. I look down at my stomach and say,"don't leave me,okay?"

I am answered with a small kick.

A/N so I'm not sure if peeta should be hijacked or not. Please review your answer and help me out.


	4. you're alive

So I am so happy with the reviews I am getting! Please keep em coming! So I know what I'm going to do with peeta, based on the reviews. I think you guys will like it to. So there is a lemon in this chapter and the rating will change. So yeah,now with the chapter!

Katniss pov

I shoot up from my bed,the dream still in my mind. Only it wasn't a dream. It actually happened and the proof is inside of me. The memory of what happened on the train comes back into mind. It happened a few nights before the quarter quell...

_Peeta and I were on top of the train and it's night. "Couldn't sleep with all the nightmares,huh? I wish we could have ran off. And not have to go through this hell again. Just us."He asks. I sadly smile at him knowing that this is one of the few last pieces of happiness we have before we go into the arena and I die for this boy with the bread._

_"Peeta..."I sigh._

_"I'm sorry,I know that you don't love me,but I wish I could stay with you,forever."_

_"No,no that's not what I meant,peeta,I wish I could run off with you too,I would live forever in that moment...I don't want tomorrow to come because that's just one more day closer to you going back into that arena. I just,I can't lose you,seeing you die would be like me dying."_

_"Are you trying to say that...that...You love me katniss?"_

_I nod._

_"I love you katniss."_

_I pull him into a kiss and hold him to me. His lips find mine again and his hands rest on my hips. I kiss him with everything I can't say,all my feelings not in words but action._

_"Katniss,"peeta moans into my mouth pulling away after. I see tears in his eyes and I notice that my cheeks are wet with tears too. "I'm sorry katniss,it's just,I can't lose you either. And just the thought.."He says._

_"I know,but only one of us will make it out,they won't let both of us...it needs to be you."_

_"Katniss,I don't have anyone to live for except you. If you die,I die. But you have family. Gale. You have a life."_

_"Lets not fight over this. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to spend as much time as we have left together."I say._

_"Come on."He says and takes my hand. We make our way to my room and shut the door. I start to kiss him again,but this time I press him to the wall. His hands slide down my back to my ass where he picks me up and I straddle his hips._

_I can feel his arousal in my thigh and I don't know what comes over me. Excitement? Love? Anticipation? A tint of fear? But as soon as he lays me on the bed,all the fear goes away and that's when I feel all the want I have._

_He kisses down my neck lovingly. I feel heat shoot through me and go straight to my centre. I moan and my hands make their way to the bottom of his shirt. He breaks away to take it off,but is soon back to kissing the crease where my neck meets my shoulder,while I explore his well chiseld chest. Those weeks of training have really done wonders for him._

_He takes off my shirt to find that I'm not wearing a bra right now. His eyes widen as his hands move down to cup them. When he runs his thumb over my nipple,I feel it pucker even more and it makes me moan._

_He brings is lips down to suck on one,while her kneads the other. I hear him moan and it vibrates my boob. "Peeta! Oh!"I moan and bite my lip. I move my hands to is curls as I moan out in pleasure._

_Then he's gone. I groan at the loss of contact,until I see what he's doing. He reaches to take off his pants which look painfully tight. Then he takes off mine. When he looks down,he sees how wet I already am for him._

_"Is THAT all for me?"He asks surprised. I nod and smile._

_"God,katniss! You are making me impossibly hard."He says with a moan and I blush. His fingers slip into my underwear and he rubs a little bundle of nerves at the top of my centre. I can't stop moaning his name until he pushes a finger in me and I gasp. Then he adds another one._

_I can feel myself becoming even more aroused. By now I'm arching my back and meeting his thrusts. Then he pulls out to find his fingers glistening. Then he does the unthinkable and licks is fingers. "Mmmmmmm."_

_I gasp again and before I know it,is head is between my thighs and his tongue is in my folds. I'm clutching his curls again and that's when I feel something snap inside of me and my orgasm come out in waves._

_When he looks up at me,I see that his face is covered in my cum. "Peeta,I'm so sorry."I say embarrassed._

_"Katniss,that was the hottest thing that's ever happened. I almost came right then." I reach forward and start to take off his boxers because I can't take it anymore. I want him so badly._

_"Please peeta."I whine._

_He is huge,long,and thick. There are several huge veins that run up his member and precum at his tip. I slowly reach out to touch it and it twitches. It's not what I expect. It's so smooth but hard as I run my hand up and down it. He moans out my name and I can't take it anymore._

_"Please peeta,make love to me."_

_That's all it takes. He lines up with my entrance and slowly starts to push in. At first all I feel is pain. He stops and asks,"do you want me to pull out?"_

_"No,no,just wait. Maybe lightly move."_

_He does as I say and soon the pain starts to fade away. After the pain is gone,all I feel is pleasure. "Harder!Oh yesssss!"I scream as he thrusts into me with lightning speed. My boobs bounce in time with his thrusts and the headboard hits the wall loudly._

_"Katniss! Oh! Katniss!"_

_"Peeeeeeeetttttaaaaa!"I scream as I cum again around his cock. "Katniss,I'm gonna-I'm ...gonna...cuuuummm!"he screams as his seed spills deep inside me. He collapses on me but soon rolls over trying to regain his breath._

_"Peeta,that was.."_

_"I know,"he finishes._

_I curl up to him and hear his snores begin. I hold him to me and whisper,"I love you,"into his hair._

_A week later is when I find out I'm pregnant. The day before the quarter quell I ask Cinna for help. The next morning he tells me I'm pregnant,before I get into the tube. He wanted to tell me first and then said that he had to tall haymitch after he sends me off. I didn't want him to but he convinced me. That's when the guards came in and killed him..._

I start to cry at the memory,but that's when there's a knock on my door. When I answer it,it's haymitch. "Come quick,there's a message from peeta."

I run down the hall towards command. When I walk in,I see the capitol sign and then Cesar flickerman. "Hello panem! I'm here with peeta mellark!"

"you're alive,"I whisper and put my hand up to the screen. "So,peeta. You have an announcement for the people of panem,and for the rebels."

He nods.

"I want everyone out there to listen. Especially you katniss,I know you are with them..."He goes quite then. That's when I see something change in his eyes. Hope.

"They plan on bombing you! And I love you katniss."

That's all he gets out before they hit him and the cameras pan down. But you can still see them staging away his bloody body. I cry out to him and haymitch pulls me into him.

"Shh,calm down katniss..."He says as he pats my hair. I cry into his shoulder until coin comes in.

"Get her out,she isn't supposed to be here."

"She deserves to see,"Gale says.

A guard grabs me and pulls me out but Gale punches him and I take off running. I find a closet to hide in and soon I hear very light footsteps,those of Gale.

He opens the closet door and comes to sit with me. He has a black eye and his communicuff is gone. "What happened?"I ask.

"The guard punched me and coin demoted me. But that's okay,they shouldn't have treated you like that."He says.

"Thank you."I say weakly.

"Anytime."He says. I give him a hug and he wraps his arms around me. "Are you okay katniss?"

"Yeah,I'm happy to hear that he's alive..."

"Yeah..."He says awkwardly.

"Katniss,we leave tomorrow to save them. I'm leading it."

"Gale,I can't thank you enough."I say.

My back is starting to cramp so I try to stand up,but as soon as I do I knock over pencils. As we pick them up I think about how thankful I am to have him as a friend. When I stand up I give him another hug and say,"please Gale,please get him back,I'm begging you. And come back safe."

"I promise."


	5. Peeta

Katniss pov

This week has been hell. With peeta being gone,and Gale going after him,plus I rarely see my family. It's hell. They have been throwing me into all these propos,and honestly I just want peeta! Since my hormones have been all over the place so I wake up in tears. My mom is already in the hospital,but prim is still here.

"Katniss,katniss,katniss,are you alright?"She asks.

"Yeah,Yeah,I'm okay."I say sniffling and wipe my tears.

"Hormones?"

I nod silently. "I think so."

"Most likely,you see all these hormones are-"

"How did you become so smart?"I ask.

"I don't know..."She says blushing.

"Well,little duck,I am proud of you for becoming so smart."

She smiles and holds me close to her. "The only thing that really sucks,is the hormones won't go away throughout your pregnancy."

"Ughhh,I have to put up with this for 9 months?"

"At least the sickness goes away,"she says.

"Thank God!"I say and she laughs.

"Darn it,I have to go."She says.

"I love you little duck."

"I love you too katniss."She says as she walks out. I get my schedule and I am late for history of district 13. I get up and make my way to it. When I get there,I nearly fall asleep. I hate going to classes like this because I have to remind myself that I am 17,and not 47.

Thankfully haymitch runs into that class and pulls me out of it.

"Sweetheart,we have good news,"he says as soon as we are in the hall.

"What?"I ask urgently.

"That have peeta,Johanna ,and Annie,and are coming back. They should be back tomorrow."

I smile so much as tears roll down my face. I hug haymitch and thank him. Finally I will see peeta again! Then all my thoughts sink in. Is he okay? What did they do to him? How will I tell him about the baby?

"Haymitch,"I say shakily,"is he okay?"

"They don't know,they found him passed out."

"I hope he's okay."

"Come on,"he says and leads me back to my room. Before I go in,I hug haymitch and thank him.

"Anytime sweetheart,"he says.

* * *

Early the next morning,I am called into the hospital. I throw on the biggest shirt I can,and head down. I want to hide the small bump from him so that he doesn't freak out.

Prim finds me as soon as I get there and leads me to his room. At first I stand in front of the door,taking a deep breath. Who knows what will happen? Maybe he'll be okay? Maybe he won't. I hope he is.

Finally I open the door,to see him still asleep. He looks terrible as the doctors work on him. He has bags under his eyes and has gotten noticeably skinny. Bruises cover his arms and chest.

"He should wake up soon,"a doctor informs me. I nod and they leave,leaving haymitch by the door. I take one glance down at my stomach before my eyes focus back to peeta.

After nearly half an hour,he wakes up. His eyes look blue as ever. But they look confused. I slowly walk over to him,but he doesn't say anything. Finally I get to him and wrap my arms around him tightly.

"Peeta!"I say happily and kiss his cheek.

At first his arms awkwardly hang. Then slowly he puts them on my back. "Uh,katniss,um...It's nice to see you."

This isn't right.

I pull away and look at him confused. "Peeta? What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry,it's just I've never really talked to you,and now your kissing my cheek and hugging me? I'm confused."

I feel like my heart is broken. Like its been ripped from me. He doesn't remember anything.

"What do you remember?"Haymitch asks.

"I remember being reaped with katniss,then going into the games and I never saw her again until the very end when they said two could win. And then she never talked to me again,and I was reaped again but she was with a career pack,then I was in the capitol."

I gasp,he really doesn't remember anything.

I run out of the room crying. Peeta doesn't remember me. He doesn't remember us being together,let alone the star cross lovers! He won't even remember how I got pregnant! He won't even remember that he's the father of my-our child.

As I sit there and cry,I feel two arms around me. "I'm sorry katniss,"prim says.

"Maybe there's a way to reverse it?"She adds.

I just cry more in her arms as she rocks me back and forth. Eventually I cry myself out. I think I passed out because I wake up in the room right next to peeta's. My mom is the first to see me.

"They did a test on peeta,and it seems that they used some form a venom to cover his memory. The good thing is,since its only venom covering them,and they aren't completely erased,we could possibly work to recover them. I know how important those are for you two."

I just nod and look down.

"Just give him time,and trust me,he'll come back. He loves you too much."

After she leaves,I pull up my shirt to look at the small bump and say,"daddy will be back to us soon,okay?"

I smile as I am replied by a light flutter.

A/N so after all the wonderful reviews,I tried this idea that would make most people happy. He's back! And he doesn't hate her! But he doesn't remember anything to do with him and her being together :( but don't worry my lovelies, it's gonna get good from here ;) tell me what you think.


	6. no one seems to know anything anymore

Katniss pov

I slowly make my way to peeta's hospital room. He needs to remember,it's to important for him to not remember. I knock on the door before I walk in. When I walk in,I don't see him. Then I see him exit out of the bathroom in only a towel.

"Katniss!"he says and blushing.

If only he knew,I think.

"I'm sorry,I knocked before coming in,I'm just use to..."I drift.

He nods and stands a little awkwardly. "Oh! Sorry,I'll let you get changed."

"Thanks..."

I get up and step out. After a few minutes,he opens the door and let's me in. "Okay,so...uh..."

"I'm sorry,I know this is so strange. But I want you to regain your memories."I say,"they're important."

"Yes,I think that would be good."He says.

I pull up a chair next to his bed where he sits. "So,um how should we start?"He asks.

"I was thinking from the beginning."I say.

He nods and twiddles his thumbs.

"So we were reaped,well you were and I volunteered for prim-"

"I remember that part,I remember telling the capitol that I loved you,and after you attacked me..."

"Sorry about that,"I say.

"Then we were in the arena and I was with Cato and the careers. I was stabbed which is why I have this,"he says and lifts his pant leg up,"then I ran away and hid until they said two could win,then we met at the cornucopia and you shot Cato with no mercy and we won."

"Oh,that's not what happened..."I say,realizing the depth of his condition.

"Then what happened?"

"Well,in the hunger games-"

"I'm sorry katniss,I have to ask you to leave while we check peeta,"my mom says walking in with a few nurses.

"O-okay,"I say and get up. She follows me out and says,"I'm sorry,but the things we'll have to use aren't good for pregnant woman."I nod.

"But he'll be okay?"I ask.

"Yes,it's perfectly fine for peeta."She says,then adds,"which speaking of pregnant,we need to do an ultrasound again."

"Okay..."I say,"let me know when I can see peeta again,"I add.

"Of course."

As I walk back to my room,I'm stopped by prim.

"Hey little duck,"I acknowledged

"Hi katniss!"she says lighting up. She hugs me and asks,"have you seen peeta yet?"

"Yeah,I went in earlier to help him remember something,anything. But then they had to do some stuff and the machines wouldn't be good for the baby so mom told me to leave."

"Don't worry,he'll come back to you,I know it! It's peeta and he loves you. Technically he still loves you."

"Yeah,but he doesn't remember anything that actually involves us,only what he would hope before...he doesn't remember me loving him back."

"I promise you,he'll come back to you,katniss."She says again and pulls me into an embrace. "I may not know much about love,but I do know that it makes you never give up on it. So if he really loves you,he'll come back,and if you really love him,you'll help him get there."

"Since when have you become so grown up?"I ask.

"Since the reaping."She says.

"I'm proud of you,prim."

"I'm proud of you too,katniss."

That's when she is needed so I carry on to my room. About half an hour,haymitch comes in. He makes his way over to my side and there's something oddly comforting when he offers an arm to me. I fall into a hug and he says nothing as I cry out my frustration.

"Are you okay,sweetheart?"

"Just jolly,"I say in monotone.

"I know this is difficult-"

I stand up and start to cry,"NO! EVERYONE ACTS LIKE THEY KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE! BUT THEY DON'T! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT ITS LIKE TO WAKE UP KNOWING THAT THE PERSON YOU LOVE DOESN'T REMEMBER THAT THE REASON THEY FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU! NO TO MENTION THAT I'M PREGNANT! THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE! ITS LIKE-ITS LIKE...It's like losing him...No one understands."

I drop down to my knees and look at the doesn't say anything for a while as my tears stream down my face. I see a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"Katniss..."He says softly,"believe it or not,I know what you feel like...I know what it's like to lose the one person you love in the world,who you would lay down your life for."

Slowly I look up from the floor again to look into the sullen eyes of my mentor. "Come here,katniss."He says patting the area next to him,motioning me to sit next to him. He takes a deep ragged breath and then says,"before my games,I had a girl name Susan. And right before I went into the arena,I found out she was pregnant. After the stunt I pulled,snow was not happy. So after the victory tour,near her due date, snow sent peacekeepers to our house."

He stops and looks at his hands and continues,"I remember that night too clearly. It was the middle of the night,when they burst into my house. Two held me back as the others defiled her...Then after,they slit her throat and stabbed he stomach to make sure I had no one left."I see tears fall onto his hands as his voice wavers.

"She was all I had left. All I had at all really...She was everything and they took her away."He goes quite for a while and I think he's done until he adds,"the story was that she died during birth and the baby was a still born. I was the only one who knew what really happened and I planned that one day that fucking bastard would die for what he did."

"I'm sorry haymitch. I didn't know...I wouldn't have blown up on you-"

"Katniss,I just want you to know that you still have a chance. That you can save the ones you love."

"And I will."

"Just promise me one thing."

"What?"

"You'll be careful,"He says.

"I don't think I have a careful button."

"That's my katniss."

"What?"

"Never doing what you're told."He says with a smirk and then leaves me to think about everything that just happened. I know that I have to help peeta...and I will.


	7. the 74th hunger games

I wake up early and make my way to peeta's room. When I get there,he is still asleep. There's a pang in my heart as I watch him. It takes everything I can to not run into his arms and hold him. To kiss him. He looks so peaceful,but I know that behind that mask is torture. Nightmares and years of abuse. But deep inside there are memories, memories that need to be unlocked. And best of all,love. There's love.

"Katniss?"I hear right as I turn away to leave. Slowly I turn around to see him staring at me,waiting for an explanation.

"Morning peeta...um..I was wondering if you wanted to go to breakfast together?"

"Yeah,sure,just...uh..let me get dressed."

"Sure,"I say before I turn to leave. He gets up and its then that I see the marks across his back as he walks towards the bathroom. The marks cover his back and shoulders,even up his neck. What did they do to him?!

"Uh..Katniss.."

"Oh,sorry."I say quickly and leave.

When he opens the door,he is fully dressed in his grey uniform. I smile at him and he actually smiles back. We awkwardly walk to the cafeteria and when we get there,we find the table marked,'mellark' 'everdean' 'odair' 'Hawthorne' 'mason' and 'cresta'.

Prim is there when we sit down.

"Morning, katniss."She says smiling at me.

"Morning,little duck,"I say.

"Good morning,peeta,"she says looking next to me.

"Good morning,prim."He says with his brilliant smile.

"Hey,brainless!"Johanna says as she plops her tray down across from us.

"Hey, loverb-peeta."She corrects herself. "It's so different seeing you outside of a cell."

"Yeah...It's weird not hearing the screams."

"Yeah,we definitely got used to each other's screams,considering our cells were right next to each other. Who knew water could be so traumatizing?"She says.

"But let's not relive hell,huh?"She adds.

"Yeah."

I start to eat the mush they call food,but soon the smell gets to me and I take off running. As soon as I got up,I hear peeta ask,"What's wrong with katniss?"

I hear faintly what sounds like,"she caught a small sickness,"from prim.

When I return from puking out my guts I find my way back to my seat. "Are you okay?"peeta asks.

"Yeah,I'm-I'm fine."

After we eat,well after they eat,we make our way back to his room. "So,um,shall we continue?"I ask.

"Yeah,of course."He says,"so,you were saying that what I remember is wrong?"

"Not completely,but yeah,most of it. So in the games,you teamed up with the careers and yes,you were stabbed by Cato. But that's not how you lost your leg."

"Wait,so how did I lose my leg?"

"I'll get to that...I was on my own until I found rue. Which was when I dropped the tracker jacker me a on you guys."

"Why did you do that?"

"It wasn't anything against you,I promise,but the careers trapped me up in a tree and had to find some way down. That was the first time I saw you in the arena. Then the careers killed rue..."I fight back tears.

"Then it was announced that two could win,so I went to find you. When I did you were hidden in mud and plants,I couldn't see you until you grabbed my leg."I laugh.

"So after that we found a cave where we found that you had blood poisoning. It was really bad,so we made out to get sponsors. Which worked but we only got soup. Then there was this announcement about a special 'feast' at the cornucopia. It had the medicine that you needed. You begged me not to go,but I couldn't let you die. So I used sleep syrup that haymitch sent me to make you fall asleep while I went to get the medicine. Clove almost killed me,but threshold saved my life because of rue. So,when I came back and gave you the medicine,you made me use some for my head cut. After that,you were healed so we started to get food. You accidentally gathered nightlock,which killed foxface. Then after that,thresh was killed,which left us and Cato. So we made our way to the cornucopia where we were chased by mutts."

"The mutts,they were made to look like the fallen tributes,"he says.

"Yeah,that was traumatizing...So then we tried to climb the cornucopia,which is when a mutt bite your leg and that's when you lost your leg. For followed and he took you in a choke hold. So then I shot his hand and you pushed him over the edge. The mutts were attacking him but he had armour on,so I shot him,to stop the screams...That's when we were told that only one could win. So we both threatened to eat nightlock. They announced us both victors and we were taken out of the arena-peeta are you okay?"I ask when I look at him. He holds his head in his hands and it almost looks like one of Annie's attacks.

His eyes are closed and then they open,and when they do his pupils are so dialated that they look black.

"Peeta?"

"The mutts,the medicine...You,star crossed lovers,us-"

"Do you remember?"I ask quietly.

"Pieces-"he spits out. He bites his lip and shuts his eyes tightly. I watch as he grips the bed and let's out a cry. Then it's over and he collapses on the bed in a heap of deep pants and sweat. His pulse is raging and the heart monitor bracelet around his wrist is beeping.

"Peeta? Peeta!"now I'm getting really worried.

"I have to get someone."I say,but as I get up he grabs my wrist.

"Wait,"he breaths.

"Peeta,what happened?"

"I have no clue,"he pants,"it was-I was there. I was watching it play out,like a movie. Only your voice was there,faintly. But I couldn't see you,well I could but not here. You were in the arena and,and I was spreading medicine across your forehead. Then it switched to another part and then that played out...next thing I knew,you were calling out to me bit I was watching something else...but I don't understand what was happening then..it wasn't in what you were telling me. Then it was gone an I saw you looking at me and I was back...Katniss,what do you think this means?"

"I don't know,but I think it might help us."

That's when peeta passes out. Only this time he doesn't open his eyes again...

A/N so what do you think?


	8. sweet dreams and memories

Warning:smut

Katniss pov

I run to get my mom as soon as he doesn't wake up. She picks up peeta,with the help of several nurses and bring him to a different room.

"What are you doing?! Is he a okay? What's wrong with him!"I yell as they carry him. When I'm left alone,I drop to the floor and cry. I don't know if it's all the kept up tension,fear,or just,the hormones,or a combination of all?

"Katniss?"

I look up to see prim at the door. "Are you okay?"

"No."

"Is it peeta?"

I sigh. "I told him about our first games,and something weird happened."

"What?"

"He had some sort of flashback,he remembered and then,then he passed out and didn't wake up...I'm worried."

"Mom will take care of him,I know she will,and get him back to you."

"Thanks,little duck,"I say and hug here.

"I have to go,but I'll check on him myself,okay?"

"Okay."

An hour later,my mom brings me to his new room.

"He won't talk to us,he just asks for you."instantly I light up. He wants me! He's asking for me. "Judging from the MRI something has happened to the section with his memory. For better or for worse,we don't know."

With this information I step on in. As I shut the door,I hear him move. He is sitting up now and staring at me. "Katniss..."his voice sounds hoarse and scratchy. "Peeta,what happened?"

"I remember being in the hunger games. I also remember the victory tour."

"You do?"

"Yeah,and I remember parts of the quell."

"Do you remember...before the quell?" I say blushing.

"No,not yet."

"What happened?"He adds.

"Um,we...we trained like careers."I add quickly.

"Oh,okay."

I'm starting to feel sick again,so I quickly turn to his bathroom and close the door. When the door is closed I quickly get to the toilet and throw up. I can here him getting up from the bed and knock on the door.

"Katniss? Are you okay?"

"Yeah,"I puke some more,"I'm fine." I say very unconvincingly.

"Katniss."He says more sternly.

"I'm fine,just a little queasy."

"Can I come in?"

I think about it for a little,then finally say,"yeah."

He walks in and sits next to me and pulls my hair from my face. "Are you okay?"He asks again,"and don't lie."

"No,I'm not feeling well."I say defeated.

"Come on."He says and takes my hand. Peeta leads me to the bed and says,"come lay down."

He wraps his arms around me and holds me to him. "We use to do this during the victory tour,real or not real?"

"Real,"I say.

"The doctors told me that if I am confused that I should use this game."

"I think this game will help us."

"Yeah,I do too."

I fall asleep in his arms and when I wake up, I see him sketching something. I sit up and see that it's a picture of me,when we were in the cave. He smiles at me and says,"this was the first memory I got back. I remember the way you looked in the cave when I was dying and you were there to help me."

I smile at him and he then says,"I had a dream,and I'm not sure if it happened..."

"Okay...?"

"I had a dream that I ran into a force field and died,but somehow I'm back alive."

"That's real. In the quell,we were walking and then you hit a force field and died,but finnick revived you."

"That's what I thought...You see,I get these weird dreams but the ones that I think are real,they aren't shiny like the other ones."

"Shiny?"

"Yeah,like around the edges."

He shows me several pictures and we play real or not real for hours until we fall asleep again. I wake up because of a nightmare so I just sit there and look down at my stomach. I'm starting to show some more,which isn't good for the position I'm in. Soon peeta shoots up panting.

"Are you okay?"I ask and wrap my arms around him,pulling him in. "It was just a nightmare...it wasn't real."

"What happened?"

"We were back in the arena and it was different,and there were monkeys everywhere. This girl,she jumped out in front of me and I watched as the monkey destroyed her."

"Oh,peeta...that,um,that actually happened,in the quell it happened."

"Who was that girl?"

"She was the tribute from district 6,a morphling is what we called them. You became close-"

"-during the training. She liked all the colours but was great at camouflage."He finishes.

"She sacrificed herself so that we could lead the rebellion."

"Oh..."

He pulls out his sketch book and starts to draw the scene out. I see a tear slip from his eye as he sketches. I wipe the tear and he looks at me with all the emotion he's kept in.

"Peeta,it's okay to let go."I say.

He closes his eyes and all the pressure and tension he's kept in is released. I hold him in my arms as he cries. I almost cry with him,in fact a few tears slip out. I rock him back and forth and then do what I think will help him.

I sing.

"Deep in the meadow

Under the willow

A bed of grass

A soft green pillow

Lay down your head

And close your sleepy little eyes

When you wake the sun will rise

Here is safe,here is warm

Here the daisies guard you grime every harm

Here is safe,here is true

Here is the place where I love you."

Peeta calms in my arms and I almost worry that he'll feel the small bump under his chest right now,but my mind is more concerned on how peeta is feeling. He has his head resting on my chest,his arms are wrapped around my waist,and he rests between my legs,his left and my right intertwined.

I can hear him lightly snoring as I run my fingers through his hair. Then I'm hit with dejavu. It was the night before the quarter quell...

_peeta and I leave dinner early tonight,we don't want to deal with everyone,we just want to spend as much time as we can together. As soon as we are in my room,peeta pulls me into his arms and just holds me._

_"Tomorrow,"he says,"I will do everything I can to keep you safe. Katniss,you must come out of that arena,for your family-"_

_"Peeta-"_

_"I love you,katniss."_

_"I love you too,peeta."_

_He pulls me up into a kiss,which quickly becomes heated. He picks me up under my butt as I straddle him. He pushes my back against the wall fiercely and devours my neck. I moan into his ear and he lets out a growl._

_Peeta quickly gets us to the bed,where he rips off my clothing. Then I start to unbutton his pants as he pulls off his shirt. My hands roam the plains of his chest as soon as his clothes are gone._

_Then he mounts my body till his face is aligned with mine. Peeta's lips find mine in a passionate kiss that makes me want to live in it forever. It's so full of emotion and love. I never thought I would have a connection like this with anyone,but I'm so unbelievably happy I do._

_That kiss turns our chaste movements into slow,smooth,and loving caresses. His kisses start at my jaw and go all the way down to my toes,where he makes his way back._

_We are too impatient tonight for all the teasing so we straight to making love after that. He enters me in one swift thrust,which we both moan loudly. The others can probably hear us but we don't care. This night is about us._

_We try to prolong it as much as we can,but soon we are both coming and its over. After peeta lays with his head on my chest,his arms are wrapped around my waist,and he rests between my legs,his left and my right intertwined._

_I run my fingers through his curls as he snores lightly. I give him a kiss on his forehead and he wakes up for a second when he says,"I love you so much,katniss." Then falls back asleep..._

When I know for sure that he is asleep,I give him a light kiss on his forehead. He rolls his head over and I see that he is smiling while he sleeps,something that hasn't happened since we were reaped.


	9. the picture

Katniss pov

I wake up and start with my normal routine. Get up,shower,try to fit in my clothes that are staring to get tighter,then go to peeta's room. I just walk in today. He is still asleep and the dark circles tell me it hasn't been a very good night.

I take a seat at the small desk by his bed. I take one last glance at peeta before I turn to his sketch book. I probably shouldn't look at it while he's asleep but I just can't help myself. I must know what he's drawn now. And telling my the grafite on his hands and face,he was drawing last night. Flipping through the pictures I've already seen,I find the new pictures. The first one is of us in the room full of flowers. Our picnic. This was the day before the quell.

What I see next shocks me. I let out a gasp that almost wakes him. It's me. But it's not just any picture of me. The picture shows me laying on my back,my hair in a mess around the pillow and my face. I'm asleep and naked. It's clearly a picture of me after the first time we had sex. He has perfectly captured my scars and yet in this,they look beautiful. Everything he makes is beautiful,even if he's drawing me,it somehow comes out perfect yet it still looks like me. I don't understand how he does it.

Still in shock about the picture,I slowly and quietly tear it out of the book and put it in my pocket. He hasn't signed it,and he signs all his pictures. But all the new ones aren't signed. I'm wondering if he's even seen them? Did he sleep draw these? Or maybe he was too tired to sign them. But that's just not like peeta.

I close the book as soon as I hear him groan. He sits up in bed and looks at me groggily. "Morning,katniss,"he says while stretching.

"Good morning,peeta."

"Do any drawing last night?"I ask.

"No,I was too tired to do any last night,though I did have some strange dreams that I want to draw."

"Really?"I say almost to fast. "I mean,what about?"

"Not much,just some..uh..stuff."

"Peeta-"

"They're nothing,I don't think they're real...excuse me."He says getting up to go to the bathroom. I can't help but notice the erection forming as he walks over. So he thinks they're just dreams? He doesn't remember drawing? I'll have to ask my mom about sleep drawing.

I walk over to the closed door and say,"I have to real quick,but I'll be back before breakfast to get you."I say.

I hear a small grunt and he says,"okay."

Running out of there I pull out the picture and look at it one more time. I almost run into my mom as I'm looking at it. When she calls my name I quickly fold the paper and look up. "Mom I need to ask you something..."

"In my office,"she says.

I follow her to her office and as soon as she shuts the door I say,"is it possible for someone to sleep draw?"

"Sleep draw? Hmmmm-what's that?"She says snatching the paper from me before I can hide it. She gasps and then turns angry. "He drew this!?" She says in her angry mother tone. It's more of a statement than a question.

Timidly I say,"yes...but he doesn't remember. I tore it out before he saw and asked him if he drew anything last night. He said no. He said he had some weird dreams though. Then he left to the bathroom. He thinks it was a dream."I say placing a hand on my stomach.

A little calmer she asks,"is that from..from that night?"

"Yes."

"How do you know he isn't lying?"

"Because it's peeta,and he can't lie to me. He can lie to all of panem but not me."

"You're sure?"

"Yes,I'm sure."

"Mom..."

"Yes,katniss?"

"Do you think I should tell him now? I'm starting to show more and and he's starting to remember in some form. Maybe if I tell him about that night he'll remember the rest..."

"I don't know,I don't really want to talk about peeta remembering the night he defiled you,but if we must right now,I think... you should. He needs to know and he's pretty much caught up,except for,uh,that."

"Okay...I will. Thanks mom."I say then grab the picture.

I make my way to peeta's room and walk in. He is sitting on his bed drawing,without a shirt on. I catch a glimpse of the picture and its similar to the one in my pocket. But it's also different. This one is as if he were laying next to me.

His hand is caressing my right boob as I smile at him. He quickly shuts the book when he sees me next to him,but I already saw it. I sit down next to him and he kisses my cheek.

"Shall we go to breakfast?"

"Yeah."He says.

I'm starting to notice small changes in peeta. He is more relaxed around me,he kisses my cheek every once in a while. He even holds my hand as we walk to the cafeteria. After we eat he takes me back to his room. We sit on his bed and he pulls me into a hug. This hug is filled with a passion. It holds us together,like it always has.

I breath in the scent of him. And it's intoxicating! I honestly don't know what comes over me. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. We haven't kissed like this since the beach in the arena. My fingers wrap in his curls as he attacks my mouth.

I pull him closer to me as he pushes me to the bed,his body on top of mine. He moans and then pulls away. He smiles at me as he lays down next to me. We are both flushed.

I have to tell him.

"Peeta,there's something we need to talk about."

"I know you saw the picture that I was drawing right now. And I'm sorry,it's just that dream was-"

"Real."

"What?"He asks confused.

"It was real."

"You mean we-"

"Yes."

"Willingly?"

"Yes."

"I-"he's cut off as he closes his eyes tightly and a wraps his arms around his head. When it's over his eyes open wide.

"We actually had sex,"he whispers looking down.

Then he adds,"and you said you loved me..."

"I did. I still do."

"Do you still love me?"I ask timidly.

"I always have,and always will."

"Good."I say,"because there's something you should know..."

A/N hahahahahah! I'm sorry,I know I'm evil! :) review!


	10. telling peeta

The moment you have all been waiting for!

Katniss pov

"Do you still love me?"I ask timidly.

"I always have,and always will."

"Good."I say,"because there's something you should know..."

"What?"He asks confused.

"I don't know how to say this...uh,um.."

"Katniss-"

"I'm pregnant."

His eyes widen and he stares at me in shock. His mouth hangs open and he is silent. Then his eyes slowly travel to my stomach. After staring at it for a while,he finally says,"w-what? When? I-I,oh God,I'm sorry katniss."

"I found out before the quell. I didn't want to tell you because I know if I did there wouldn't be any way to get you out alive. "

"I'm so sorry katniss."

"You don't have to be sorry peeta,it's my fault too."

"But I know you don't want any kids and now-"he drops his head into his hands and sobs. My heart is broken. I never wanted to cause him pain. He's beating himself up over this when it was both of our faults. I run my fingers through his hair and say,"peeta...Peeta...Peeta look up at me."

Slowly he raises his head to look at me. Seeing him cry,has me almost in tears too. Damn hormones. "Peeta,stop beating yourself up for this."I say placing a hand on my stomach. He just stares at my hand and I see the yearning in his eyes. He's always wanted kids.

"You can touch it,if you want...It's your baby too."I say slowly.

I see his face change to wonderment as he reaches out his hand slowly towards my stomach. I pull my shirt up so he can see the small bump. I should be a little bigger,but my stress is causing me to not want to eat.

Finally his hand comes into contact with my stomach. As soon as he does so,the baby goes crazy with kicking. I think it knows that that hand out there is its dad. He lets out a shaky breath and a hint of a smile is on his face.

"Katniss-"he breaths,"It's,it's..."

"Kicking? Yeah,it does that a lot. Keeps me up all night mostly."

He smiles at that and so do I. "How many months are you?"

"About 4 and half."

"Wow,"he says.

"Peeta,I love you."I say.

"I love you too,katniss."He replies. I pull him into a kiss which he is very happy to oblige to. He holds me to him and says,"I love you so much."

That's when a nurse walks in. But peeta doesn't let go. He just holds me to him and closes his eyes. "It's time for your medicine."She says. He just holds me and doesn't let me go.

"I don't want to take it,I don't want to be in this hospital anymore. I've been in here for so long. Can't I leave yet?"

"I would have to talk to Dr Auralius before you can be released. He's in charge of you. But you really do need to take your medicine,Mr Mellark."She says.

"Fine."

He holds out his arm and she injects a needle into him. His grip on my hand tightens and I feel like I'm about to throw up just looking at it. When she leaves,I quickly run to the bathroom and throw up. "Katniss,"he says weakly.

Hearing him,I quickly get up and run to him,"what's wrong?"I ask. He says,"what's wrong...you're worried about me,as you're throwing up?"

"But you sounded so...tired and weak."

"That's just what this medicine does to me,I'll be fine. But what about you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah,I'm fine."

"I guess you weren't sick before,huh?"He asks.

I just shake my head. "Stay with me?"He asks. I crawl in bed with him and say,"always." This reminds me of when he said that to me during the victory tour. I hold him until he falls asleep in my arms. About an hour later he wakes with a start.

"What is it?"I ask.

"Just a nightmare..."

I kiss his forehead and then say,"well I'm here,and I'll make sure those don't come true."

"My nightmares are always about losing you."

"That won't happen."

He puts his hand on my stomach and starts to rub it. I smile at him and he says,"shall we go eat?"

"Yeah,I'm kinda hungry."

We make our way down to the cafeteria to find my mom and prim already there. When we sit down,prim says,"hi katniss! Hi peeta! How are you guys doing?"

"It's been an interesting day, peeta knows."I say and place a hand on my stomach. She smiles and says,"that's great!"

"So,peeta,"my mom says slowly.

"Mom!"I say.

"Well katniss,what do you expect? Now that he knows-"

"Mom,no. We aren't having this conversation."I say.

" Ms. Everdean,and Mr. Mellark, please report to the hospital."

Peeta and I look at each other confused,but go. When we get there a nurse tells us to go to Dr Auralius' office. When we get to his office,he is there at his desk. "Ah,yes,Mr mellark and ms everdean! Please take a seat!"

"So,uh what do you want to talk about?"I ask.

"So,I was told that Mr Mellark is doing better and remembering more. And I know that no one wants to spend all their time in a hospital,so I'm releasing you from the hospital and instead you will have a compartment. And Ms. Everdean is the best for you,so she is also moving in that compartment,if that's okay with her?"

"Yes."

"Then it's settled! Here is your compartment key."He says handing us our key. Peeta takes it and thanks him and then we are on our way. When I look at the number,I notice it's the compartment next to haymitch's.

"I have to go get my stuff real quick." I say.

I run to my old compartment to find my mom in their. As I grab my stuff she asks,"what are you doing?"

"Peeta and I have been given a compartment together. We are right next to haymitch and only a few down from you."

Before she can say anything,I leave. When I get in,I set my stuff down on the couch and look around. There's a living room,a bathroom,and two bedrooms. Peeta is nowhere in sight,so I call out for him.

"In here!"he says from the living room. He must of went in there while I was in the room. When I go out there I find him holding something. The pearl.

"You kept this?"

"Yeah,it kept me sane while you were gone."I say.

"Really?"He asks with a smile on his face. "Yeah,it reminded me of the kiss on the beach. How soft your lips were,and how much love was in it..."

Peeta wraps his arms around me and kisses my cheek. Then he moves to kiss my lips. This kiss is slow and full of love and passion. I close my eyes and wrap my arms around him. His tongue begs for entrance as he kisses me,which I allow.

He moves his mouth down to my neck and starts to kiss there. I moan and he bites down on it. I bring his lips back up to mine and kiss him in a haste. "Katniss-"I cut him off by biting his lip.

"Shhh,no talking,"I tell him. I've been waiting for him to get close again to me. To be able to kiss him again like this,to have in me. He picks me up and takes me to the room.

He lays me down on the bed and starts to unbutton his shirt. Then mine. When both of our shirts are off,he goes for my bra. When his hands grip my boob I let out a yelp of pain.

"I'm sorry katniss! Did I hurt you?"He says.

"A little,sorry my boobs are a lot more sensitive now."I inform him.

"Sorry,I'll be gentler."

I nod and he lightly runs his hands over my nipples. It feels so amazing as he does so that I'm nearly drooling. "Peeta,"I moan as he switches his hand for his mouth. I look down,half lidded at him. He smiles back at me and slowly moves his fingers down my stomach to my my centre.

His fingers toy with the hem of my underwear. He takes off my pants and then goes back to teasing me. Finally he puts his fingers in my core. "Wow,you are so wet!"he says as he pumps his fingers.

"Mmmmm-peeta!"I cry as he laps up what came out.

By now I'm screaming his name. He quickly takes off his pants and underwear,his erection finally freed. He wastes no time in pushing it into me. The sensation I feel is wonderful,like getting water when your mouth is dry.

He doesn't last very long,but that's okay. Afterwards he lays next to me with his arms around me. I tell him,"I missed you,"before I lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back sweetly and moves the hair out of my face.

"I'm so happy that I remember everything now...that I love you,that I've made love to you,and that we're in this together."

"Me too."I say sleepily. My head rests in the crook of his neck as I start to drift off. Peeta being spent,does too. But before he completely drifts off,I feel him move a hand to my stomach.

A/N so now that peeta knows and he's back,this is where it all starts! I would also like to thank all of you for getting this to 100 followers! Love ya! Please review!


	11. mockingjay

Katniss pov

I run down the hall to our compartment. I woke up and couldn't find peeta. I'm almost in panic, so I run to haymitch's compartment. "Jesus Christ what do you want now!"

"Where's peeta?"

"He's at a meeting...with coin."

"What?! And no one told me?"

"You aren't his wife, sweetheart."

"But I am carrying his child! Plus I'm the one living with him! Don't you think I deserve to know?!"

"You see, sweetheart. You cause problems when you get involved."

"Problems? The problem is no one tells me anything!" I scream and march out. I make my way to command where I'm guessing they're holding the meeting. I'm so tired of not being let in on this shit! They want me to be the mockingjay, huh? Well they sure as hell don't tell me anything.

I burst through the doors to see Plutarch, Coin, Peeta, Gale, and several other of Coin's bafoons. "Soilder Everdean, you are bot required to be here." Coin says.

"Yeah? Well, too bad. I'm the mockingjay, so start treating me like it. I want to know why you have peeta here and why I wasn't informed!" I say slamming my fist on a table. I smirk on the inside at their faces. Weren't expecting that know, were you?

By the cool collective composure that Coin has on, I can tell she's decided to play my little game. Only I don't like games.

"So? What's going on?"

"We have decided upon what peeta should do. Knowing that you have asked for him to be spared, even as a traitor-"

Know I'm angry,"HE HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE! ITS YOUR GUYS' FAULT THAT HE WASN'T SAVED!"

"Katniss-" I hear peeta say from behind me. I look back for a second to see him pleading with his eyes. Damn those eyes. I'm sorry peeta.

"We want peeta to be in some propos. His golden tongue will help where you lack."

"And you didn't think to call me?!" I'm beyond angry now and go to leave. "Soilder Everdean, you are not excused."

A guard steps in front of me but I shove past him. I hear someone get up, but I don't turn. I hear a lot of yelling but I don't stop. I don't think. I don't seem to ever think before I act. And that got me here.

Somehow I end up at a closet. I look straightforward at the boxes. When the door opens I say,"listen pe-, oh I thought you were peeta."

"They wouldn't let him go," Gale says.

He takes a seat next to me. I lightly touch his bruising eye and say,"what happened?"

"A guard tried to go after you, so I punched him. Then when they tried to take my communicuff, peeta tried to stop them. But he had no effect on their choice and they threw me out."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me...What about you? How are you?"

"Pregnant...angry...stressed..tired, my boobs are sore and I feel nauseous everyday!"

"Hmm, an angry-tired-stressed-pregnant women...sounds dangerous," he laughs.

"Yeah,"I say slightly grinning.

"Well, I guess you're always dangerous so there's not much of a difference."

At this I start laughing and so does he. We accidentally knock over a box of pencils and rush to clean them up. I try to shove as much as I can in the box but they won't go in right. Gale takes the box from me and starts to put them in one by one.

Then finally peeta comes in. Gale gets up and mumbles something about giving us privacy. I pull peeta into a hug and accept the comfort I feel when I'm in his arms. I breath in his scent. It's ccomforting.

"Peeta,"I start.

"Shhh, you're getting all worked up. Relax."

I kiss his lips with such tenderness that he holds me against the wall. He kisses down my neck and reaches for my shirt. My hands go into his hair and I reach for his shirt too. Soon we are both on the floor naked. Each touch elicits a fire and every kiss sends a shock through me. I am the girl on fire. He makes me the girl on fire. I'm so sensitive now,that every touch is ten times more.

When we finish, peeta reaches for our clothes and I say,"I needed that."

"I can tell, you're stressed out."He says.

"So what are they making you do?"

"I'm doing propos with you."

"Okay...but nothing else, right?"

"Nothing else."

"Okay."

Later peeta and I go to see finnick. He's been in the hospital for a really bad concussion.

"Hey, finnick." I say.

"Hey...Katniss."

"How are you?"

"I'm...I'm fine. Damn concussion, makes it hard to think."

"Yeah, I know how you feel. How's Annie doing?"

"She's fine. She's a little worse than before but I'm helping her."

"That's good, whatcha got there?"

"Rope. It helps me. I tie and untie it. So how's your baby situation going?"

"Fine, I guess."

That's when Boggs walks in. He one of the higher soldiers. "Finnick, you're needed in command."

"Okay." He gets up and that's when we see he's in only his underwear.

"Uh, finnick, some pants?"

"Why? Do you find this distracting?"

"Not at all."I say laughing.

"Beetee wants to see the two of you." He says.

Boggs brings us to an elevator that brings us down several floors. "This is coal miner deep."I whisper, terrified. Peeta just holds me to him, to calm me.

"I assure you, miss everdean, we are safe."Boggs says.,"right this way."

He brings us to a door and opens it. Beetee rolls around the table in his wheelchair to meet us. "Katniss! Peeta! IIt's great to see you two. I have some cool things for you."

"They wanted me to make you a bow for the propos, but I could never give you just an ordinary bow. This bow wakes up when you speak to it. Here give it a try."He says handing me this beautiful black bow.

"Okay, uh...wake up?"

The bow starts to make this humming noise as it lightly vibrates. "And when you tell it to go to sleep, it turns off. I also have some arrows. Black are normal yellow and fire and red are explosive."

"Thank you, beetee."

I take a red arrow and go to the targets. Betee stops me and says,"let's not shoot the red one in here."

"And for you,peeta, I have this crossbow. You shoot it like a gun. Colours are the same for you too."

"Thank you, beetee."

Peeta takes it to the targets and shoots the yellow arrow. The target bursts into flames. Then I do the same. I find it amusing to see the targets blow up into flames.

After, when we are in the cafeteria, effie comes and sits next to peeta and I.

"Katniss, darling. I have something for you."

I look at her questioningly. She pulls out a black folder and hands it to me. I look at her and then unlatch it. What's in it makes me gasp.

"Cinna..."I whisper.

"Yes. He didn't want me to show you thins until you made the decision on your own."

"They're beautiful!"I say breathless.

Each page is filled with a beautiful design. Since cinna was the only one to know about my pregnancy, there are ones to suit my stomach and protect my baby.

"I love them."I say and as I flip to the last page, I see written at the bottom,'I'm still betting on you.'

"He's dead, huh?"

Effie nods and lightly says,"yes, dear."

"Thank you, effie. For everything."I say hugging her.

She pats my back as she hugs me. "Anything for my victors."She says.

That night, peeta and I lay in bed in silence. "What do you think happened to my prep team? Sure they were brain washed, but I did care about them."

"I don't know...I didn't see them in the capitol. They weren't captives. Snow could've killed them..."

I nod and hold onto him tighter. " I'm so thankful that I got you back."

"I'm so happy to be back."

A/N so I saw mockingjay today and holy fucking shit it was perfect! They did an amazing job on peeta!


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